I've been trying my best to prepare Ben for big school, but I realized I have to prepare myself as well, particularly when it comes to him being compared with other kids.
How do you encourage a child to do better without pressuring him? How do you respect your child's individuality but at the same time show him the reality that he will be rated and ranked? How do you show that hard work pays off but at the same time there will be times when it won't be enough?
I don't know the answers to this questions. Maybe I'm just anxious. These are the moments when I kind of wish I can talk to my future self who can give me tips on how I can help my kids do well in life.
Thankfully, an answer somehow came during the parents' orientation for Xavier parents last Tuesday. I'd like my children to have a strong character, particularly resilience and perseverance. As Father Ari said, life is like a marathon, and we should focus on preparing the kids by not just teaching the basic skills, but by encouraging them to have patience and endurance so that they'll be successful in the long run. Miss Angela Lee Duckworth explained it as having "GRIT". Father Ari showed a video of her explaining this, which I am sharing with you guys below:
I've heard the term "grit" before but have a better appreciation of it now. As Bry said, "I'd rather have kids that are "late bloomers" than " one-time wonders". Sometimes, I'd catch Ben saying "but it's hard" when talking about a task. I hope that I'll be able to encourage him so eventually say "It's hard but I will try", and to keep going.
There are two other phases that come to mind in relation to grit. One is "jia yo" from the tv series Meteor Garden. Similarly, there's a phrase "Aja, aja, fighting!" from it's Korean counterpart "Boys over Flowers". Literally, "jia yo" means to "add fuel", which is probably why a person wants to say it when he (or the person he is talking to) needs that "exrra push/ energy". Bry and I would text that to each other especially during a challenging day. Maybe I should include that in the kids' vocabulary as well.
Any thoughts on "grit"? I'm so glad that Xavier and I are on the same page as to how we want to form Ben. Please pray for us as we emabark on this new adventure starting next week.