Sunday, September 20, 2015

The Art of Saying No

Those who know me well know that I don't like saying "no" to people.  I guess, it's the "people pleaser" in me, and when I find myself in a situation where someone asks for a favor that seems doable, I hardly decline.  However, as a parent to three kids, and with the heavy traffic taking up a big chunk of our time, I had to set my limits.  Here are some of my thoughts as I struggle to learn to say "no"

- When it's a non negotiable, say "no" right away and stick with it - If you know right from the start that it's against your principles or if it's contradictory to your rules at home, then the decision is easy. (unless the house rules need to be revised, which calls for a family meeting

-  When undecided, give yourself a deadline.  Then don't stall and leave perople hanging if you already have a decision.  You'll feel better once you've informed them and they'd respect you for it.

- When it comes to kids, being consistent is the key.  I find it hard saying no to my kids even if the rules call for it, but I know that I'll just regret saying yes if i did just because I was pressured by them to do so.

- Our time is precious, and one way to make most of the time we have is saying no to things that are not worth our time. As a mom, I consider spending time with my family a priority, so when I spend time  away from them, I ask myself, will what I be doing make me a better and happier person? Is the travel time worth the trip? Will my presence be appreciated? One of the things that is close to my heart is the breastfeeding advocacy so I do my best to say yes to opportunities to inform families about breastfeeding.

I still find it hard to say no, but I am learning and realized that doing so is not necessarily a bad thing.   And as you become firm with your stand on things, you get to know yourself as a person and become stronger.  How about you? What are your thoughts?