Thank You, Doc Miguel...

This is the last text message that I received from my kids' pedia pulmo.  It was the last text message he sent from his phone.  Dr. Miguel Javier passed away yesterday.  He had a heart attack as he was about to make a house call to us.  His wife called me this evening with the sad news.  

I am heartbroken.  Dr. Javier and his wife would visit us almost every other week because the kids have asthma and allergic rhinitis.  He has seen me in my worst days as I panic whenever the kids are sick. He patiently listens to my worries and answers my questions about the different types of medicines.  Over time, he has become not just a doctor but a friend as well.  He'd remember the kids' birthdays and would give them birthday and Christmas gifts.  He would call me to check on the kids a few days after he prescribes medicines to see if their response to them were ok.  He'd also check on the helpers and yayas when they're sick.   The whole household will surely miss him.

I remember how we first met.  I was scouting for a pedia-pulmonogist in the internet and his name came up.  I set an appointment for Ben but almost didn't make it but the secretary told me to still come over even if we were late.  I never would have thought he would be such an important part of our lives.  I am thankful to God that He sent Dr. Javier to take care of our kids even if it's

just during these early years.

My heart goes out to his family.  I've met

his wife and kids and could only imagine the pain they are going through.  I pray that God would bless his soul and comfort his family.  

Thank you, Doc Miguel for all you have done.  I'm missing you already.  Please watch over me, Bry and the kids.  Please pray for us and ask God to help heal us whenever we get sick.  We love you.

Falling in Love again with Swimming

One of the things I am grateful for is that my parents took me to swimming classes at a young age.  Until now, it's the only sport I actually know and enjoy.  I'm no expert but I can do my own laps.  I'm also grateful that I'm able to share with Ben my love of swimming.  I am happy that he is more confident in the water.  He's been practicing his freestyle and backstroke regularly and is now learning the butterfly.  Recently, he has been able to swim the whole 25 meters by himself.  (super proud mom, here!) I'm glad that he has made friends with his other classmates and has developed a good relationship with his coaches. 

Several weeks ago, I've been looking for a way to have some "me" time and "destress".  The lack of sleep and the energy I spend on taking care of the kids the whole day has taken a toll on me.  I was grouchy most of the time.  Thankfully, Ben's coaches encouraged me to do some laps while he's taking his lessons.  At first I admit I was unsure if I had what it takes to exercise because I might be too tired, but I found out that  after doing some exercise, I feel much better and have an extra boost of energy.

This is one of may fave swimsuits.  It has been with me for more than 15 years, no kidding!  I remember because my parents bought this for me after I recovered from a surgery that left a big scar on my back.  This i the only swimsuit that covers it.

Swimming with Ben gives me the mommy break I need.  I'm thankful that even if I am in the pool with Ben, I have the opportunity to get some exercise on my own.  The silence and focus that is required when I do my laps is quite refreshing.  Also,  I get to have adult conversations with other parents and coaches.  One of my dreams is to one day be able to teach other kids how to swim. I'm not sure if I'll eventually have the confidence and skill to do it, but in Go's time maybe I'll get to do that in the future.

So what do you do to get some mommy-daddy break? Do share! :)

Waiting, Waiting and Waiting

It is a time for waiting for the Team Tan.  Each one of us, the twins included, is waiting for something – an update, a package to be delivered, a milestone, etc.  Personally, it is a challenge for me to wait for something.  But I have come to understand that learning how to wait graciously is a grace in itself.

When one is in a stage of waiting, one can appreciate and be thankful for what he/she has at that very moment.  As I wait for the kids to reach another milestone, I am thankful to God for giving them to me and Bry to nurture.  I admit there are days when I wish they’re now more independent, but I do appreciate that maturity is a process.  The twins are the best reminder to me that each child grows differently and that I have to recognize their individuality. 

Whenever I am called to wait, I am reminded that I can only control so much.  Sometimes, no matter how hard you work for something to arrive quickly, circumstances change which put things on pause.  You end up not being able to do anything to make things faster.  You can, however, control your attitude towards waiting.  Recently, Ben and I were stuck in traffic for an hour (in what should have been a 20 minute trip).  I was so stressed and it was actually Ben who helped me calmed down.  He kept on asking questions about how taxi meters work, noticed that there are still some construction workers in the nearby job site despite the heavy rain, and at one point even asked me about why Jesus died and if He is now a ghost ( the answer is sort of complicated, right?) 

There are at times when we don’t know how long we have to wait, but we do have a choice on how we spend our time waiting.  I usually try to keep myself productive, busy and “distract” myself so that I don’t become grouchy and impatient.  I admit, however, that it is wiser to use the waiting time to take a step back, pray, and reflect on the thing you're waiting for, how important it is to you, and pray that in God's time it will come to you.