Monday, February 27, 2012

On Managing the Household

Since I am in the process of (hopefully) resolving another helper crisis .. here are my thoughts :)

I was brought up with the mindset that when it comes to helpers you should treat them the best you could.  The general rule is having someone to help you around the house is better than none.  One of my most vivid childhood memories was my dad getting mad at me for not washing my own dishes to help out our lone helper at home.  I remember crying while I was washing my dishes while the new maid tried to help me out of pity.

My mom, on the other hand, was the stricter one.  She never raised her voice but didn't hestitate to tell our helpers if they didn't follow her instructions correctly.  She knew how she wants things done at home and wouldn't settle for anything less.  Bry would always tell me that if we need our helpers trained, mama was the best person for the job.  I honestly think it was my dad who was more afraid to end up having no help at the house than she was.  My mom was able to handle things during those times we didn't have outside help.   In fairness to my dad, though, he does pull his weight during those instances even if he was tired from working at the office.

Fast forward several years later,  I am running my own household.  I think I'm learning to strike a balance between how my parents handle things.  In our close to four years of marriage, I can say that handling helpers' woes is one of the things that made Bry and I stronger and wiser as a couple.  We still have a long way to go but we've learned ..
if only doing the chores were this easy .. :)

BE FAIR - Apply your rules to all of your helpers from the yaya, to the cook, to the one who cleans.  I only have a yaya and an all-around helper but they'd compare themselves with each other even with the slightest of things.

KNOW YOUR NON-NEGOTIABLEs - Hurting Ben, Stealing, Leaving without permission are a definite no-no for us.

DO NOT BE ATTACHED - When we first got married, I was attached to our helper in a way that I took it personally if they don't come home after their day off  without any news and I'd try to talk them out of leaving.  I now realize that it's just really a job for them so there's no point in trying to make them stay if they want to go.  You treat them the best you could but move on if they leave

BE THANKFUL - I've heard of so many horror stories about helpers that whenever I'm faces with a crisis, I just tell myself that things could be worse.  There'll always be a better and a worse situation so just look at your healthy family, count your blessings and trust that things will eventually work out.

THAT NEWS AND RUMORS TRAVEL FAST - Blame it on Unli-Text, Unli-Call .. my helpers usually know what's going on with my mom's helpers even before my mom finds out what's going on ... and believe me, even if two helpers doesn't seem to get along, chances are they still have each others number.  Don't bother asking them to keep secrets from each other even for a day!

Ultimately, it's only you who can decide if your helpers are more of a help than a headache.   I wish everyone the best of luck :)


  1. Hi Nats! I agree, something they are more of a headache than help! But I'm lucky that my mom shares her helpers with me.

    Having my fair share of helper woes the most common denominator for their being forgetful and pasaway is the CELLPHONE!

    1. Hay Didi, so true!!! Buti nalang we have moms who shares their helpers with us. Thanks for reading and advance happy birthday to lovely Kailee!

  2. Grrrr talaga mga cellphones na yan. Sana kasi di siya naging affordable sa masa na lahat ng katulong meron na. Yung first yaya ng baby ko, super addicted sa phone. I caught her once, when I suddenly entered the room, my baby was crying and her back was turned as if not hearing anything, just busy texting. I asked her to leave that very night!

    1. naku, at least you found out na how she works first day pa lang. here's hoping we all don't have to deal with helper woes for a while :)